It's just getting harder..

Yesterday, my dad was put in jail, for a reason I don't know why. He wasn't drinking, he wasn't pulled over, he was just at the county jail taking some sort of test, and I guess he failed it and they put him behind bars. Again. I hate this, why can't my dad just learn from the first time? Why can't he grow up and stop being a child? Does he even realize that he's hurting me, he's hurting our family? He might have lost his job, and we are relying on him to keep me and my mom living.. And without his paycheck, without his insurance, we're ... falling. I don't know if things can get any worse. Honestly, I just hate how my life is turning out, I use to be so happy, guilt free, worry free. And then went summer 2011 came along it had to flip upside down.. Last night, I cut myself, the first time in how many years, but it wasn't as bad, I didn't go too deep, but I woke up this morning and there are still red marks.. I can't help but hate myself, I'm struggling, and no one can see it. I'm always locking myself up in my room, afraid to go out and see people, because I don't want them to worry about me.