I want things better

I just wish I would get my period back already, then I know that I'm finally healthy and my body is getting its hormones balanced again, and to know I'm a teenage girl again. That's the only sign I'm waiting for, and I'm hoping it's soon. But I need to work on my relationship with food, it's still not healthy. I get these small panic attacks about food I'm eating and how much I ate of it, and I'm once again obsessing over my calorie intakes. I need to somehow block Myfitnesspal so I don't go on it anymore. I just want things back to normal, honestly. I have a slight better view on my body when I look at it in the mirror, but sometimes it's distorted here and there. I've been positive, well, trying at least. But it doesn't help that my family is struggling, and college is in the way. But I know I have to keep going. For myself, friends, and family.